To be honest, I’m doing better, but still not that great. I notice this from the reflecting image of my eyes, filled with self-hate. An epiphany of realising life means nothing to me but some setbacks and some hurtful memories that I’ll keep locked inside of me.
I’d be lying if I say everything will be okay, but none of that matters these days.
I consider the future to be an enemy. The nemesis in my own Greek tragedy, in which the hero will cease to exist once he meets his destiny.
Staring at the ground, medicine in my ears. I forgot for a moment how good feeling nothing can actually be. Let me be, can’t you see I prefer social distance over conversations about how good your life has been.
I can see the sun rise in the distance.
Surrounded by a mass I tend to turn my back to. I don’t belong here and never will. And realising this has made my life a goddamn living hell. Each time I’m underwater I try to hold my breath a little bit longer than I did last time, subconsciously hoping that the air in my lungs was less than I had expected it to be.
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